I have finally realized why people are unable to be open to considering that there is something completely beyond their normal comprehension, something almost inexplicable in “normal” terms and in the current mainstream understanding of the world. In this particular case, I am speaking about the true twin flame journey. Yes, I am going there. Finally. I am going there despite AND because of the “scandalous” reputation it has gained and I am finally in a place to do so.
I have been keeping to mostly myself for the better part of this year largely because I needed to sift through all of the shame and anger all of the outside judgment was bringing up in me. But it is time for me to come out of the shadows to speak up and stand in my experience.
And, yes, there is a lot of inaccurate information floating around and certain people, for example the founders of Twin Flames Universe, have unfortunately twisted it into something it’s not for their own benefit. And that’s what caught the mainstream attention. The baby is being thrown out with the bathwater, so to speak. And yes, there are many who latch onto the concept in hopes of some fantasy fairytale who are actually in unhealthy situations.
However, the fact is, this strange, almost incomprehensible phenomenon does actually exist. I know this not only because many great spiritual teachers and people who channel other realms have spoken about it but because I myself am living it. It wasn’t something I knew about before it came into my life. At all. In fact, while I had an inkling for my whole life that there was something more beyond this earthly existence, a greater meaning, I had almost no knowledge of spiritual concepts whatsoever. I also had no solid experience of pure unconditional love.
I had been indoctrinated into lack thinking, egoic fear patterns, and codependent behavior that left me chasing people for some elusive taste of love and acceptance. To do this, I had altered myself, pretended I was something I wasn’t, I swept my own needs and desires under the rug and essentially rejected the very essence of my being as many in my life had done to me. I subconsciously felt so unworthy, unlovable, and incomplete that everything I did was out of a need to prove that I was. I became “too nice” aka: a doormat.
Naturally, I attracted a lot of equally wounded partners and friends and what many would call narcissists or people with such deep emotional wounds and trauma that it resulted in narcissistic behavior. I was desperate for “love”, attention, acceptance, approval, and validation. I didn’t see anything but what I wanted to see. I tried to demand and persuade others to behave in certain ways so that I could hopefully feel those things. I actually thought I was doing it out of love for them and for myself. It rarely worked, if it did, it was temporary. A fleeting feeling. I realized years later that it’s temporary not only because it’s physically impossible for others to give that to you at all times but mainly because that is actually not what the soul desires.
The soul desires to find that approval, acceptance, validation, and compassion from within. Once you have that completely, how the external world reacts to you becomes irrelevant. You no longer need it. And, funny, when you give it to yourself and no longer need it externally, that’s actually when the universe provides it. You also don’t need anything outside of you to complete you, you are already complete. So seeking love outside of you is pointless anyway. You already ARE love.
I explain all this to say that I had begun to awaken to these truths soon before I was thrown into the twin flame journey. It was like the universe/my soul was waiting for me to get to a certain place of understanding before I was deemed ready to undertake the next grueling parts of ascension and awakening.
Anyway, back to the main point, many people view this phenomenon from the outside through the lens of the only relationship framework that they are familiar with. That is their only point of reference. And my ego mind did, too. This is a very limited framework because it’s based on the limited ego mind. They are quick to dismiss and judge and react and project because that’s exactly what the ego does. It judges and dismisses things that it cannot comprehend in order to protect us.
Here’s the thing, though. Every step of this journey is guided by the intuition. Whenever we try to use the ego to understand it, all hell breaks loose. We try to run from the journey. It doesn’t make sense to the mind. We feel we must get OUT. Wounds come up for healing. The heart and soul become “unhappy” and get “thrown on the back burner” as the ego takes center stage. UNTIL we surrender back into the heart, soul, and journey. Through this process, the egoic beliefs get shattered and dismantled as the traumas are released. The journey ONLY exists in the heart and soul. NOT within the ego mind. This is what has finalized the last piece of my trust (and dismantled what feels like the last piece of doubt) in this confusing journey and why I’m able to stand in my conviction about it now.
Any toxic or unhealthy dynamics and relationships are actually largely controlled by the ego. And it “works” for people. The ego justifies behavior, the ego keeps people small, stuck, and giving away their power. The ego often keeps people in those situations because they are comfortable and familiar to the ego even if they are detrimental to the soul. They can largely be categorized into conditional partnerships. For example, if one partner does “x”, the other partner reacts in a certain way. If one partner doesn’t do “y”, the other partner reacts in a certain way. It’s very based on the physical world only and there is no deeper healing or transcendental dynamic at play. If one were to listen to intuition in those situations, it would likely have them exiting OUT of it or stepping into their power within it.
Whereas in this twin flame dynamic, the ego wants OUT of it and it wants control because it makes no “normal” sense. Like in conditional dynamics, the ego actually says, well this person did “x”, and did “y”, and didn’t do “that “z” so I need to take this into my own hands and do something about it. But, actually, when following the intuition in twin flame dynamics, that’s when it leads us back IN. And, boy, do we twin flames try to get out and try to get control. We try and we try and it simply doesn’t work. In the end, surrendering the ego is what moves things along in the journey.
Many people’s judgements say: “it’s just a toxic dynamic”, “x person is just simply not behaving in the way you want so you need to do something about it.” Essentially saying, you need to CONTROL the outcome whether it’s moving on or getting x person to talk or what have you.
This journey ends up giving you no other choice but to surrender to your intuition, heart, and soul. And following your intuition, heart, and soul is the best thing you could ever do on planet earth whether you are in this dynamic or not.
What people don’t seem to understand is how this journey actually facilitates your healing and the return back to your soul and sense of wholeness.
They are quick to judge and dismiss and project without actually getting curious of how that could possibly work. If THOSE people listened to their intuition and their soul and their heart, they TOO would be able to be open enough to get an inkling of comprehension of the journey or at the very least have more compassion. Instead, it doesn’t fit their paradigm and it’s subconsciously deemed as unsafe by the ego and therefore, leads to subconscious-led judgmental reactions rather than compassion and understanding.
I am far enough on the journey now to have regained this trust in myself as well as the full picture that makes more sense to my ego . For various points along this journey, I also had egoic reactions like I’ve described. My ego just couldn’t get on board. Of course! It’s not surprising! But as I healed more and more, got back to my true essence more and more, saw myself as whole and worthy and deserving more and more, the journey actually made more and more sense! I naturally began to have a more unlimited, expansive perspective thanks to connecting more to my soul simultaneously while my subconscious mind/ego was also able to heal and start shifting into positive beliefs. The more parts of my ego that become conscious, the less they fester and cause detriment under the surface. Don’t get me wrong, the journey continues and hidden, unconscious parts of my ego will probably still show up but it only comes up because it is finally time to heal that aspect and let go of that belief.
Through this journey, I have gained a much more solid understanding of the universe than I ever have before. I’ve gained a connection to higher wisdom, deeper truths, and more heart and soul aligned ways of living than I ever had before. And most importantly, I’ve gained a sense of personal power, trust in myself, self love and compassion, and a sense of wholeness unlike that which I could have ever imagined before I was thrown into this wild ride.
It has been excruciating, uncomfortable, confusing, messy, non-linear, provoking, incensing, frustrating, outrageous, incomprehensible, and grueling.
But it has also been the most beautiful, love-filled, healing, wonderful, magical, other-worldly, heavenly, indescribable, expansive, magnificent, empowering, and significant experience I could never have imagined before.
Things may not look how people want them to look “on paper” and the dynamic may look a certain way to the general population but there is a much deeper aspect to this whole thing than people realize.
And it’s not really about the other person at all. The soul(s) just had an agreement prior to incarnating to help facilitate each other’s healing through exact, corresponding triggers, but not without pure unconditional love that transcends time, space, and actions born out of ego.
It’s a pressure cooker for awakening. Diamonds are created under pressure. The original material already has exactly what it needs within it to become that diamond but it needs an external force to allow that change to happen. The same for a soul. If this phenomenon never came into my life, I probably could have awakened to my truest essence and my brightest light little by little throughout the course of my lifetime because life still expands us but inside of this container, it has been the fast-track so to speak. As they say (and I can confidently attest to), this journey is not for the faint-of-heart.
The twin flame journey is also not the only path of ascension. There are many other paths out there. So before you get all your panties in a bunch about not feeling included or feeling stuck in comparison, just remember, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Life will give you exactly what you asked for to learn in this lifetime prior to incarnating.
So, to all the haters, keep on hating. To all those trying to change us, keep on trying. To all those looking at us like we’re koo-koo, go right ahead. Sometimes this journey does make us feel like we’ve lost our marbles, but they were only the marbles that were no longer serving us.
I’m not saying everyone who claims to be is on an authentic twin flame journey and some may actually need to reach different conclusions about their situations. But, for me and my experience, I know.
I’m grateful to those that have stood by my side, taking the time to understand my heart, and trusting me enough to handle my own life and follow my heart and soul.
The trust in myself, my own experience, my intuition, and what I’m feeling has reached a point where I now can comfortably sit in my experience without feeling shame and judgment from the external world. I can relax into the confidence of my own experience.
And from that solid ground, free from fear of judgement, can I finally start sharing the soul-level wisdom this whole thing has taught me.
Love,
Bri
<3
